Balancing Mental Issues While Working Remote
What would you expect a normal person to be doing on a regular sunny Monday? Surely, they would be working, but what if they weren’t, what if they were distracted, playing with a fidget toy, scrolling away on the phone, or taking a smoking break every once in a while? It would not be too out of the ordinary to find me holding onto my head and waging a war with it, as well. Why? An easy way to explain it would be that my mind simply is not minding its business in its current project, and my heart is on overdrive with the details of a family argument or the nuanced, neurotic fears begotten from micro-expressions.
For many neurodivergent individuals or people on the spectrum of mental disabilities like me, this scenario is all too familiar. Birbeck’s research from the University of London and Neurodiversity in Business (NiB) reveals that 78% of neurodivergent staff are overwhelmed at work. Similarly, the American Psychological Association (APA) reports that 67% of 18 to 34-year-olds struggle to focus due to stress, whether work-related or personal. These statistics clearly illustrate how emotional overwhelm cripples neurodivergent individuals, making it nearly impossible to prioritize work and maintain inner peace.
For those unfamiliar, neurodivergence refers to variations in how people think, process emotions, and interact with the world, encompassing conditions like ADHD/ADD, autism, and dyslexia. Unlike neurotypical individuals, whose brains operate within societal norms of attention, emotional regulation, and communication, neurodivergent people face unique challenges in these areas. For me, living with the combined form of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder means dealing with mostly impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and difficulty maintaining focus—issues that neurotypical individuals might experience occasionally but not as intensely or persistently. Understanding this difference has been eye-opening, as it’s not about being “less than” but about maneuvering the world with a brain wired differently, often requiring tailored strategies and support systems to thrive.
For me, emotional regulation feels like trying to steady a ship in a storm, which is obviously impossible because we should be steering the ship, not stop moving it at all. According to Paul Rosen, PhD, a clinical psychologist and ADHD researcher at Norton Children’s Behavioral and Mental Health, “emotion dysregulation” has been “a key component” of the mental defect for the last 15 years. So, naturally, for neurodivergent individuals, like us with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or autism, emotions hit with the intensity of tidal waves, overwhelming focus, relationships, and daily tasks. This rollercoaster of feelings, whether joy, frustration, or anxiety, can hijack priorities and leave us stuck in the intensity of the moment.
If you thought emotional regulation was stressful, well impulsivity makes it worse by turning small sparks of emotion into sudden flames that drive reactions before logic can intervene. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for impulse control, takes a back seat during emotional surges, making it harder to manage feelings like anger, sadness, or excitement. This can lead to challenges in daily life, for example, if I get an offhand comment from a colleague, it might derail my focus for hours, meanwhile, good news leaves me so euphoric that my entire brain gets overstimulated and emotionally volatile. Research explains I am not alone as up to 70% of adults with ADHD struggle with emotion dysregulation, experiencing irritability or impulsivity that feels like a flash flood: intense, overwhelming, and fleeting.
I could hypothesize that storming through these emotional waves is akin to steering a canoe through a stormy sea—each wave is unpredictable, sometimes small ripples, other times towering and relentless. Even with tools and techniques, staying on course can feel exhausting. Understanding these patterns has been crucial for me in developing strategies to weather the storm. Just like that, mindfulness practices and structured routines have become essential lifelines and helped me restore focus and balance amid the chaos.
Even with piling up my meditation habits, I end up staring at my laptop, trying to draft an email while replaying a heated argument from the night before. Emotional overload doesn’t respect time or place, it seeps into every corner of the day, thereby blurring the lines between work and personal life, especially in a world where 58% of Americans now work remotely. For me, it feels like walking a tightrope: one moment, I’m meeting a deadline; the next, my mind is hijacked by unresolved personal conflicts or building castles in the air. As Dr. Dawn Brown puts it, our emotions don’t magically switch off when we log onto a virtual workspace.
Elizabeth Bodalski, a fifth-year doctoral student at the University of South Carolina says, “Emotion dysregulation in ADHD has a broad impact across a lot of areas of life.” Naturally, suppressing emotions to focus on work isn’t for this disorder, yet it is something we often have to do to fit in a neurotypical world. Research shows that 41% of employees feel burned out due to the pressure of maintaining a professional façade while juggling personal crises. Yet, acknowledging this emotional spillover has been a game-changer for me.
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Working remotely has magnified the emotional strain of balancing my professional and personal life, especially with my dysfunctional family dynamic and caregiving responsibilities for loved ones with my severe mental health issues. The space that should foster productivity becomes a battleground of competing demands, and this leads to exhaustion and constant interruptions. In this context, you could relate to Greenhaus and Beutell’s (1985) concept of inter-role conflict, where work and family demands collide. Instead of offering freedom, remote work’s supposed flexibility often spills into evenings and weekends, leaving no room to decompress to anyone, even more so to the emotionally sensitive individual.
The emotional, impulsive, and inattentive challenges that neurodivergents face are further exacerbated by a lack of systemic understanding in workplaces. Research shows that 69% of employees working remotely report burnout, yet there are not enough tools in virtual setups that identify warning signs like fatigue or disengagement. For neurodivergent employees like me, the gaps are even starker–many organizations fail to implement inclusive practices, creating environments that unintentionally overwhelm and exclude. Sarah Karalunas, PhD, a professor of psychology at Purdue University, says, “There’s growing awareness of emotional dysregulation, but it’s still often overlooked.”
Remote work was meant to empower employees, but for those juggling personal and professional challenges, it may feel like swapping one set of constraints for another. Real progress demands systemic change: workplaces need to integrate employee feedback, provide targeted tools, and adopt inclusive policies. As expected, life intrudes on work, and I’ve faced days where personal emergencies or unresolved issues clouded my focus. Acknowledging these feelings without guilt and practicing mindfulness, like five-minute breathing exercises, has helped me regain focus, even if only briefly.
Establishing boundaries and building structure have been essential for managing remote work. Without a commute or physical office, the lines between work and life blurred quickly. Dedicating a small workspace, sticking to consistent hours, and creating end-of-day rituals like shutting down my computer and taking a walk helped me transition to personal time. Connection and movement also played vital roles—virtual check-ins eased isolation, and short workouts boosted my energy. Over time, I’ve found that balancing mindfulness, structure, and community has helped me adapt to remote work and nurture my well-being.
Navigating overwhelming emotions doesn’t have to be so hard, because it starts with the simplest self-compassion and practical strategies. I acknowledge my feelings without judgment, naming and validating them to reduce their intensity. This approach allows me to process emotions instead of suppressing or fixing them immediately, helping me connect with myself on a deeper level. Emotional turbulence isn’t a weakness, it’s an opportunity to recalibrate and approach challenges with renewed clarity.
Building meaningful connections has also been transformative for managing emotions. Being part of a supportive network, whether at work or in my personal life, helps me gain fresh perspectives and respond more constructively. Moments of pause during emotional peaks, like a walk or quiet reflection, create space for rational thinking and grounding. By balancing productivity with self-love, prioritizing joy-filled activities, and sticking to emotionally healthy rituals, I’ve learned that emotional regulation isn’t about perfection but about creating a fulfilling, harmonious life.
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So, here is the bottom line: managing emotions while balancing remote work and life is hard, but it is not impossible. I have learned that self-compassion is everything–naming my feelings and giving myself permission to pause makes a world of difference. Small, intentional habits like mindfulness, movement, and setting boundaries have been game-changers for my focus and peace of mind. It is not about perfect balance; it’s about showing up for myself in small ways every day, trusting those efforts will build a life in which I can thrive, and encouraging you to take that first step toward your own well-being.
